User Profile

This is another diary of eponas_daughter. My other diary is friends only but I will quite happily add you.. as long as you don't tell anyone you meet on my other live journal about this one.
This is a livejournal of secrets. Secrets that none of my friends know. Secrets that I keep so poeple don't worry about me. You can read both journals, I don't mind. I have just copyed and pasted my bio and interests from my other live journal.
Eponas Daughter stands for a tarot card called ‘Epona’s wild daughter’ this means nightmare depression and madness- this is me.
I don’t hate my life, I’m lucky but I hate myself. I am suspicious that everyone else hates me too (this is because it's true).
I am sometimes depressed I think I’ve got happier but few people agree. I can tend to be slightly paranoid. To clarify slightly paranoid an example of my paranoid mind is: sitting in the middle of the floor with a knife being convinced that there is a murderer in my room and that this person has been plotting my murder for weeks.
I don't like people on the whole. They destruct their habitat and cause wars and think they are the cleverest animal when they are stupid. Cats are the cleverest animal. I mean think about it, we look after them, love them feed them and what do they do in return? Purr and have fun while WE work to pay THIER vet bills (and no I did not get this from hitchhikers guide to the galaxy but now I’ve seen it I feel it shares my views - you should watch it).
I am going to contradict myself by saying I love my friends, I don't know what I would do without them but they are carefully selected people that are either unbelievably kind without malice or without the ignorance that the majority of the world has. I am not really in the position to be this choosy hence the fact that I only have few very close friends or people who are becoming very close friends.
I am an atheist- I believe people turn to religion so they can blame something when they fuck up their life; they want power and because they are afraid of death or generally need support. I think religion on the whole corrupts the world. If you’re religious, I’m not against you, I have religious friends but I am entitled to my own opinion and DON'T try and save me, people have already tried, it's too late for me. Of course I realize ALL people are different and not everyone is like this. I am mainly talking about religious people in very high places. I think faith can be a good thing because it gives hope without hope you have lost everything. I am also not saying 'there is no God' I am open minded to the opinion that there could be anything out there (if there is I’m fucked); it's just what I believe.
I hate people who:
Don't appreciate what they have (unless they have a really crappy life)
Try to be fucked up (no one should want to be fucked up - it's not cool - the people that are fucked up don't enjoy feeling that way)
Prejudice or racist people for obvious reasons
Closed minded people
Fake (apart from I don't hate fake people that much)
People that have opinions based on ignorance (I despise this)
I have been hurt or left by a couple of people who have been really close to me. This not only gives me slight paranoia when it comes to any kind of relationship but I have learnt to live with the fact that in my life nothing stays.
I can: love you, hate you or not know you enough. With me people are never just OK.
I don't backstab. People always know what I think of them (there is one exception to this in my life at the moment but its VERY complicated).
My journal is offensively honest, it is my opinions whether their wrong or right their mine. I like to think I’m not racist or prejudice and that I am open to the fact that you cannot label a group of people and expect them to all be the same. I don't think you can judge a group on the whole unless you have deep psychological conversations with EVERY SINGLE ONE.
My journal often has things that are hard to make sense of or spelt wrong. This is mainly because i'm stupid but also because i'm slightly SLIGHTLY SLIGHTLY
dislexic and also I forget EVERYTHING (but forgetting is really just the main part of my stupidity). So if I spell things wrong. PRETEND I HAVEN'T.
My journal is based on what I usually call self pity (this is really my self hate in disguise, everything bad that happens is my fault).
I write my deepest, darkest thoughts and if you read it you will know virtually everything about me (apart from what I look like so I suppose I should put a description of me down). If you are offended by what I say I can only say - I don't lie, if you’re offended you obviously have a problem with yourself - I suggest you address that immediately. That is all.

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